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When the Lord was creating
peace officers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when
an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling
around on this one."
And the
Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order? A peace
officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in
the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector
wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."
"He has to
be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout,
cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood
for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."
"He has to
be in top physical condition at all times, running on black
coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs
of hands."
The angel
shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no
way."
"It's not
the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord,
"it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."
"That's on
the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord
nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket
before he asks, May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he
already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.)
"Another pair here in the side of his head for his
partner's safety. And another pair of eyes here in front
that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say,
You'll be all right ma'am, when he knows it isn't so."
"Lord,"
said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this
tomorrow."
"I can't,"
said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250
pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a
family of five on a civil service paycheck." The angel
circled the model of the peace officer very slowly. "Can it
think?" she asked.
"You bet,"
said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred
crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain,
investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street
in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the
legality of the stop...and still keeps its sense of humor."
"This
officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal
with crimes scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a
child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then
read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive
to the rights of criminal suspects."
Finally,
the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of
the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I
told You that You were trying to put too much into this
model."
"That's
not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear." What's the tear
for?" asked the angel.
"It's for
bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to
that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for
justice."
"You're a
genius," said the angel.
The Lord
looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.
Author
Unknown
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